Football · Issue No. 19
3 Things to Remember When a Kid Won't Play the Position You Want
Week of September 14, 2026
QUICK TAKE - Position pushback at 11 or 12 is rarely as permanent as it feels in the moment. - State your case once, then give it room to breathe instead of forcing a resolution. - Most kids come back around to the right fit on their own, without a second confrontation.
One of the harder parts of coaching middle school football has nothing to do with the field — it's managing position pressure that comes from home rather than from a kid's actual skill set. A youth coach describes a familiar version of this: a kid built like a lineman, whose father was convinced he should play running back, because that's the position the father himself had played growing up.
When the coach asked the kid to stay on the line — where his body and skill set actually fit — the kid pushed back. That's not surprising. A kid is going to side with his father over his coach most days, and it's hard to fault him for it. The instinct many coaches have in this spot is to dig in and force the issue immediately. A better approach, according to this coach, is saying plainly where you think the player fits and why, and then giving it room to breathe rather than forcing a resolution on the spot.
Often, the kid still pushes for the other position, plays there briefly, struggles, and comes back around to the spot that actually fit him — without anyone forcing the conversation a second time. That's genuinely typical at this age. Middle schoolers, and the parents behind them, make real decisions in the heat of a moment and then, often on their own, come back around to a better one once the immediate pressure fades.
The practical lesson for parents isn't to abandon input about where a kid plays — it's to leave room for the process to work itself out rather than treating a coach's initial assessment, or a kid's initial pushback, as a permanent conflict that has to be won. A position disagreement at eleven or twelve is rarely as fixed as it feels in the moment. Giving both the kid and yourself room to be wrong about it, without turning it into a standoff, tends to get everyone to the right answer faster than pushing hard for a particular outcome.
From The Real Cost of Youth Football: A Parent's Guide to Pop Warner, Camps, and What's Actually Worth Paying For.
This piece ran in PPA Pro Issue No. 19, alongside a camp spotlight and trainer pick for every sport. Subscribe free.